Rules of Engagement: Le Bill


It should all be so simple, we exist in a time with Netflix, Avengers movies and a app based can service that will deliver dangerously unhealthy junk food to your door at 3 in the morning; yet, still men and women; just can’t get along.


So with this series, I will attempt to heal the divide between the two.


Let’s start with the basics: splitting the bill


This should be a pretty simple one right? But somehow Twitter threads and ranty YouTube videos are full of raging debates over who should pay.


Well it’s easy; the man.


And by the ‘man’ I mean whoever is asking for the date. In most cases this is the man, so he should pay. But really whoever is asking for the date should be paying.


A date is essentially a gift. That’s why they don’t happen in chip shops.

I take you to this fancy restaurant, where they fold the napkins and you get an excuse to wear the dress you haven’t used but are still paying for; and I get to have your undivided attention. It’s an informal contract.

Being an ‘informal’ contract there’s nothing stopping your date from eating their meal in silence and disappearing into the night. But assuming you’re not on a date with a sociopath; this isn’t really something that is likely to come up.


And to those still thinking that you genuinely deserve a half priced date because...well, you’re you; the only reason it could be so important to split the bill is a lack of funds. This is nothing to be ashamed of; but unfortunately if you’re struggling to pay for a meal then you probably shouldn’t be dating at the moment anyway. Dating, even half priced ones, can be expensive, it should be.


If you really like this person, yes you’re going to have to wine and dine them. It’d be nice if they could be blown away by your personality; but surely if they’re so wonderful they deserve to be spoiled? And even if they say they’re happy; they’d be happier if you paid; instead of getting out the calculator and using yr 9 algebra to work out your percentages of bill.


So if you can’t get it done right now, get your money up and reapply.