Everything isn't opinions, some things are simply true or false:

True: Actions do speak louder than words.

False: You can't judge a book by its cover (that's literally what the cover's for)

True: The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.

False: The Triple S Balenciaga's are a beautiful shoe.

The Triple S Balenciaga's were the fastest selling shoe of 2017; but regardless of your opinion it is an objectively awful shoe. But whether you think they’re beautiful or not; either way, the age of the 'ugly dad trainer' is upon us.


The Ugly Dad Trainer (or UDT) were never 'in' they were worn by, you guessed it dads! But a particular type of dad. A weekend hiking, Top Gear watching, broadsheet reading type of dad and your dad isn’t a style icon.

Instead of competing in the already overcrowded Nike/Reebok/Adidas market; the original UDT's were aimed at an age group who cared more about comfort than fashion. This resulted in breeze block shaped brightly coloured eye sores that have more in common with horse shoes than any shoe worn by any westernised human. And for them it didn't matter.

Fashion tends to be for young people carving out an identity for themselves where fabric can say what words can't. Your dad by his big age is settled into his dad shaped identity. He isn't trying to appeal to a group, attract female attention (that's what your mum's for) and honestly at this point barring a midlife crisis; he's happy with (or at least given up fighting)who he is.

Your dad is isn’t an influencer.

But this ‘trend’ is proof that today fashion is less about picking selections that reflect the time we live in and more about the inevitable dial of time; with everything from Von Dutch trucker hats to ‘Stronger’ Kanye glasses waiting to return to the spotlight.

It started with pre-stressed jeans and if you couldn't see the giant red flag in the Superstar Taped Sneaker (RRP $530 - free shipping) maybe this fashion stuff isn't for you.

Fashion is controlled by the elite. They don't live the kind of lives that can desperately cling to a pair of trainers even as they fall apart at the seams and have to be 'taped' back together; they'd simply buy a new pair.


Anyone in the Balenciaga's isn't wearing them because they want to wear them; but because they can. It's not so much about what they go with or making them work with your personal shape; but literally about being able to afford them.

'Paying for the label' has always been a target for criticism; but the truth is the people being ridiculed have always been in on the joke. Is it possible that a person hovering over the 'Buy It Now' button on eBay really isn't aware of exactly what they're doing when they're £1000+ poorer due to a white t-shirt with 'Supreme' written on it?


A lot of people can spend £200 on trainers, even a grand if they really wanted to, but on ugly trainers? No, that's a different type of person. That's the type of person that hovers above the working class without the bougie insecurity of having to scream it in your face. UDT's aren't so much about dressing to imitate your father but instead the fashion of not caring about fashion.


It's a reminder that fashion isn't about trends and visuals so much as its about statements. Statements that say what group you belong to. This has meant goth, emo or whatever Daily Mail driven parent scaring bandwagon it is; but the one group that will always remain, is class.

The higher up the societal ladder you are; the more clothing becomes an indulgence as opposed to a necessity. And here instead of dressing to 'look good' in its place you'll find dressing ‘to look rich’. And where this once meant Italian suits and limited run jackets; now this means ugly trainers and plain t shirts.

Your dad realised that the biggest statement you can make is no statement at all. Your dad doesn't worry about being part of a certain group, or following a trend, he just wanted to be comfortable. And apparently he was ahead of his time.

Your dad a style icon.